'Forgive you?' said the wizard. 'Tell me first what you have done!'
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This week's chapter is called simply "The Palantir." It is not about the tech company, which is just a PR disaster away from regretting its name. Our heroes leave Saruman to sulk in Isengard. But they are not empty-handed. Wormtongue had hurled a glass ball from the tower at them. It missed, and Pippin grabbed it before it rolled away into the water. Gandalf immediately takes it from him, suggesting it is no ordinary orb, but he will not say what it is.
That evening, Pippin is full of questions. He creeps over to Gandalf's bed, who is protecting it "like a hen on an egg." He, Indiana Jones style, switches the ball with a rock, and he looks into it. The glass ball is a Palantir an ancient magical device of communication. In the old days it was how Gondor kept its wide kingdom united. Using the Palantiri, instant communication was possible. But they have been lost for some time.
When Pippin looks into the Palantir he sees Sauron - and Sauron sees him! Sauron, not knowing Saruman has been defeated, assumes Pippin is Saruman's captive, and that Pippin has the Ring. Sauron orders Pippin to tell Saruman "this trinket is not for him." Pippin gives a cry, which rouses Gandalf and the others, and then faints.
Gandalf throws his cloak over the ball, then attends to Pippin. Pippin soon wakes up and reaches out to Gandalf. It's at this point the exchange that opened this post happens.
When's the last time you screwed up? I mean really screwed up. A screw up that cost you money or time or reputation. I bet it felt awful. You were probably embarrassed by it. You likely wanted nothing more than to be forgiven, and quickly, so you could put the incident behind you.
I made a big mistake at work recently. I run a youth program, and I need to ensure our programs don't conflict with other youth programs in the community. But last week we had a last minute cancellation, and in my hurry to reschedule the program, I accidentally scheduled the program during one of those other programs. I had screwed up.
I recently heard about two types of compassion: Cheap compassion and wise compassion. Cheap compassion is basically commiseration. A friend loses their job, has a break up, drops their phone in the toilet - whatever. Cheap compassion is us listening to them complain and agreeing - Yes, your boss was a jerk; Yes, she wasn't right for you; Yes, that is unfortunate, etc. It's important, especially in the immediate aftermath. Our friend is likely overwhelmed with emotion. We should help provide a place for them to get them out.
But cheap compassion doesn't solve the problem. It just provides a place to vent. Wise compassion is how the underlying problems get solved. Were your perfectionist tendencies making all of your work project late? Was your desire to be in a relationship so strong that you ended up in one that was doomed from the start? If you drop your phone in the toilet so often, maybe you should stop bringing it into the bathroom. But wise compassion requires hard questions. While we do it from a compassionate point of view (We love our friends, of course, and want them to overcome their underlying issues), it can provoke anger and defensiveness, "Are you saying this is my fault??!" Sometimes the answer is yes. It can be hard to be the one to hold up that mirror. But if we don't, if we just give cheap compassion, the problems will repeat.
Pippin knows he has screwed up. He went face to face with Sauron and spoke to him. It is difficult to think of a worse outcome. Pippin is overwhelmed with guilt and just wants the situation to be over - he wants to be forgiven so they can move on.
But Gandalf will not forgive him. Not right away. First, he must know what Pippin has done. What needs to be forgiven, why did Pippin do it, and what might result from it? Gandalf presses Pippin to tell him more of the encounter. Firmly, but gently, Gandalf gets Pippin to tell him everything. Once he is satisfied, Gandalf takes Pippin's face in his hands and says, "A fool, but an honest fool, you remain, Peregrin Took."
It is impossible to go through life without screw ups. What defines us is how we respond. When I realized my mistake I felt embarrassed and defensive. Not defensive because I didn't think anything was wrong, but because it was an honest mistake and I wanted to be forgiven immediately for it. But that's not how forgiveness works. It needs to be earned.
I sent out an apology email to affected families. But before I did, I looked up what makes an effective apology. I began with an admission of guilty, and an acknowledgement of the inconvenience I had caused (and would cause by yet another schedule change). I explained what led to the screw up - I wanted to give families ample time of the schedule change, and in doing so failed to check with our master schedule first. This was not to be defensive, but as a way for me to be transparent with what had gone wrong. A way to turn my screw up into a teachable moment. Then I explained what the new plan, one that didn't have the same schedule conflict. Finally, I said I would strive to ensure it did not happen again, and I thanked those who emailed me their concerns and encouraged families to do so again in the future if I made another mistake.
I was:
I made a big mistake at work recently. I run a youth program, and I need to ensure our programs don't conflict with other youth programs in the community. But last week we had a last minute cancellation, and in my hurry to reschedule the program, I accidentally scheduled the program during one of those other programs. I had screwed up.
I recently heard about two types of compassion: Cheap compassion and wise compassion. Cheap compassion is basically commiseration. A friend loses their job, has a break up, drops their phone in the toilet - whatever. Cheap compassion is us listening to them complain and agreeing - Yes, your boss was a jerk; Yes, she wasn't right for you; Yes, that is unfortunate, etc. It's important, especially in the immediate aftermath. Our friend is likely overwhelmed with emotion. We should help provide a place for them to get them out.
But cheap compassion doesn't solve the problem. It just provides a place to vent. Wise compassion is how the underlying problems get solved. Were your perfectionist tendencies making all of your work project late? Was your desire to be in a relationship so strong that you ended up in one that was doomed from the start? If you drop your phone in the toilet so often, maybe you should stop bringing it into the bathroom. But wise compassion requires hard questions. While we do it from a compassionate point of view (We love our friends, of course, and want them to overcome their underlying issues), it can provoke anger and defensiveness, "Are you saying this is my fault??!" Sometimes the answer is yes. It can be hard to be the one to hold up that mirror. But if we don't, if we just give cheap compassion, the problems will repeat.
Pippin knows he has screwed up. He went face to face with Sauron and spoke to him. It is difficult to think of a worse outcome. Pippin is overwhelmed with guilt and just wants the situation to be over - he wants to be forgiven so they can move on.
But Gandalf will not forgive him. Not right away. First, he must know what Pippin has done. What needs to be forgiven, why did Pippin do it, and what might result from it? Gandalf presses Pippin to tell him more of the encounter. Firmly, but gently, Gandalf gets Pippin to tell him everything. Once he is satisfied, Gandalf takes Pippin's face in his hands and says, "A fool, but an honest fool, you remain, Peregrin Took."
It is impossible to go through life without screw ups. What defines us is how we respond. When I realized my mistake I felt embarrassed and defensive. Not defensive because I didn't think anything was wrong, but because it was an honest mistake and I wanted to be forgiven immediately for it. But that's not how forgiveness works. It needs to be earned.
I sent out an apology email to affected families. But before I did, I looked up what makes an effective apology. I began with an admission of guilty, and an acknowledgement of the inconvenience I had caused (and would cause by yet another schedule change). I explained what led to the screw up - I wanted to give families ample time of the schedule change, and in doing so failed to check with our master schedule first. This was not to be defensive, but as a way for me to be transparent with what had gone wrong. A way to turn my screw up into a teachable moment. Then I explained what the new plan, one that didn't have the same schedule conflict. Finally, I said I would strive to ensure it did not happen again, and I thanked those who emailed me their concerns and encouraged families to do so again in the future if I made another mistake.
I was:
- Remorseful about the impact I had on them
- Open about my responsibility
- Grateful of critical feedback and open to it in the future.
All these things being done, I was finally in a position to be forgiven and move on.
Wise compassion ain't easy. There's a reason therapists usually do it. It's really, really tough to be that kind of honest with your friends and loved ones. But wise compassion, if you can endure it, leads to real growth. Pippin is eventually forgiven, but he grows during this chapter. He had been led astray by his curiosity and has learned his lesson. But there's more. Now that Sauron believes Saruman has the Ring, he must go to Isengard to retrieve it. The Nazgûl will be sent out. But Sauron will soon learn of Saruman's defeat, and that the Ring is not being kept at Isengard for him. He will send his entire army against Gondor in the hopes of defeating humans before they can wield the Ring against him.
And all of this coming calamity is Pippin's fault. It cannot be fixed with a quick apology and forgiveness. The future has been irrevocably changed - for the worse - and again it is Pippin's fault. He must take responsibility.
And he will. Gandalf forgives him, but that is not where things end. Realizing the danger to Gondor, Gandalf decides to ride to Minas Tirith and warn the Steward about Mordor's coming attack. And Pippin must come with him. We aren't told exactly why Gandalf takes him, but here's an educated guess: Pippin has begun a fresh set of dominoes. They will fall hardest on Minas Tirith. He should be there for it.
We now come to the end of book 3 (Remember, each volume of the trilogy is really two books). When we next see Pippin in book 5 we will see him come face to face with the consequences of his actions. Beyond that, we will also see his efforts to mitigate the very worst.
We now come to the end of book 3 (Remember, each volume of the trilogy is really two books). When we next see Pippin in book 5 we will see him come face to face with the consequences of his actions. Beyond that, we will also see his efforts to mitigate the very worst.
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