On patience

This week we read "The Passing of the Grey Company."  In it, Aragon's kin from the north, the grey company, arrive in Rohan with an urgent message.  This message drives Aragorn to leave Rohan and take the paths of the dead, and there we see him rally the Oathbreakers to his cause.  Gimli and Legolas join him, but not before going on a detour with Merry to show him Helm's Deep.

‘There was a battle here three nights ago,’ said Gimli, ‘and here Legolas and I played a
game that I won only by a single orc. Come and see how it was! And
there are caves, Merry, caves of wonder! Shall we visit them, Legolas, do you think?’

‘Nay! There is no time,’ said the Elf. ‘Do not spoil the wonder with haste!
I have given you my word to return hither with you, if a day of peace
and freedom comes again. But it is now near to noon, and at that
hour we eat, and then set out again, I hear.’ 

We've all had some wonder ruined by haste.  A landmark visited from which we were rushed off to see another.  A good meal eaten too quickly.  Legolas is reminding us that wonder's reward is not in the seeing, but also the appreciating.  Watching 100 movies in a year is impressive, but not as impactful on one's life as watching 10 and journaling about them.

Why is this?  Why is seeing not enough.  There does seem to be evidence evidence reflection adds genuine benefit to experience.  Perhaps it, more than the experience itself, instills meaning and creates memories.  Life should not be a series of check boxes.  You shouldn't do things just because you should.  You should do them and then make sure you have time to enjoy them.

Legolas and Gimli should not just see the Glittering Caves, they should take their time in them. Like a museum they should enjoy and embrace each work of art that draws them in.  Do something unique to remember them by.  I don't know - play hide-and-go-seek.

We often think of the ethical life as making the right choices, but I think it is also about living the fullest life.  It is ethical to enjoy the world.  Without enjoyment, what else is there?  Making the lives of others better, sure, but for what?  Life on its own is not enough.  People should live so that they experience joy - and that includes us.

I struggle a lot with this kind of check-boxing.  I do something to get it done - or, more positively, to be able to say I did it.  But this prevents me from experiencing real joy and connection.  I get like 10 news emails a day from different subscriptions.  I read many of them - not all.  But I think I'd be better off reading just 3 and thinking them over throughout the day, and maybe sharing my thoughts with friends, than reading 7 and just moving on to the next set the next day.

I think the key to such a plan is patience.  It takes patience to make deeper connection - the truest wonder in the world.  Not only can you ruin a friendship for a quick buck/reference/opinion, but hoping for a quick connection (to art, nature, work, a hobby, etc) will set one up for failure.  A quote I carry with me from an Orthodox Jew I knew, when I asked why they pray every day, because to me prayer often feels silly and empty: "Me, too.  But sometimes it all clicks, and I feel it.  So the more I pray, the more open I make myself to that occasional feeling."  That's also how I approach this blog.  Not all weeks are home runs - I know that.  But I can only nail the Big Ones by committing to the practice through the drudgery.

The key, then, is patience, and not expecting a regular reward.  Let the world be, and try to experience it on its own timeline, not your own.  You live in your own head enough, I bet.  True wonder is opening yourself up to the unknown.

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