When To Doubt

This week we read "The Forbidden Pool," which takes place in the middle of the night.  Frodo is roused by Faramir, who tells him to come with him to see something. Sam,"waking suddenly by some instinct of watchfulness," follows them both.  They go to the edge of the hideout and Faramir points out a creature in the pool underneath - it is Gollum!

Faramir asks Frodo what he should do.  Gollum has found their secret hideout.  He can lead all sorts of enemies to it.  He must die before that.  What should Faramir do?

Frodo did not answer for a moment. Then `No! ' he said. `No! I beg you

not to.' If Sam had dared, he would have said `Yes,' quicker and louder. He could not

see, but he guessed well enough from their words what they were looking at.

Hesitation is usually seen as a weakness.  Decisive action is more praiseworthy.  Hesitation reveals doubt and can be seen as a lack of conviction.  Sometimes it is.  If you hear someone use an offensive slur and need 24 hours before you call it out people will wonder why you didn't call it out immediately.  On the other hand, if you are told someone's boss was abusively criticizing them during a meeting but when you accuse the boss they can prove they weren't working that day, you will be criticized for acting too swiftly.

Hesitation is the result of doubt.  Doubt is when we are unsure.  It will surprise few of you to learn I am a proponent of doubt - I would prefer to hesitate when I should have acted than acted when I should have hesitated.  In the examples above, it is possible to explain why one hesitates even when the wrong is obvious.  False accusations are much more difficult to take back.

But doubt is more than being unsure.  Doubt reflects a larger thought process.  Let's get back to the text.

Why is Sam so eager to let Gollum die?  Because he is looking out for Frodo, and Sam thinks Gollum is a danger to him.  Sam wants to protect his friend and master (Though usually portrayed as very good friends, and they are, ultimate Sam's relationship to Frodo is better explained as a loyal servant than a close friend).

Frodo knows the danger Gollum poses.  But Frodo also has the Quest in mind.  Gollum is their only hope of getting inside Mordor.  No matter the danger to himself, if Gollum dies the Quest will fail.  And Sauron is much more dangerous than Gollum.

Frodo hesitates to consider his options.  But when he answers he answers firmly.  He says no twice, then says "I beg you not to."  Frodo hesitates in his thought, but his action is decisive nonetheless.  His waffling is internal, only.

And yet we shouldn't look too harshly on Sam.  The Creative Wizard tells us he would have spoken only "If Sam had dared...".  But he did not.  What stopped him?  Sam knows Frodo is thorough and that Frodo has the Quest on his mind.  Here, Sam also showcases a larger thought process.  Though he has a preference, he puts his loyalty to Frodo first.

I am putting together next year's youth board for the synagogue I work at.  All the teens who are interested need to fill out an application.  This application asks, among other things, what role they tend to take on in group situations.  Because they are applying to be community leaders, nearly all of them said they are leaders in groups.  This presents a problem.  Have you ever been in a place where everyone thinks they are the smartest in the room?  That many egos in one place can get messy.  And teen egos can be much harder to rein in.

The teens, in order to be a successful leadership board, will each need to learn hesitation.  They'll need to learn doubt and patience.  They will need to learn how to widen their thinking and how to shrink their own presence in order to let others have space to shine.  Collaboration demands space for coexistence.  When people have different ideas, doubt is the foundation of the solution - surety will only inflame it.

Frodo showed doubt at the right moment.  He had the opportunity to have Gollum killed, and yet he knew that ultimately betrayed his own goal.  Sam had the opportunity to speak up, but that would have betrayed his loyalty to Frodo - even if his goal was to protect him.  And let's not forget Faramir, who is guarding his secret hideout, and could have killed Gollum without a word to the hobbits.  But something stops him.  We never know what.  But isn't that always the way?  Who can really tell what doubt is - what it feels like in our gut.  But we know it when we feel it, and we would always do well to examine it.

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