I hate being bored. More than that, I am afraid of boredom, and am excessive when it comes to avoiding it. Whenever I go on a trip I bring no less than 2 books and 3 board games - and usually also my Switch or 3DS. And of course I always have my phone. And not just trips out of town, but trips to Revere Beach in the afternoon. Maiar forbid I just enjoy the ocean!
This project, too, is an effort to ward off boredom. I don't like the idea of coming home from work and having nothing to do. I don't just like goals, it's that even temporary goallessness makes me feel unmoored.
This week we read "The Steward and the King," which first follows the beginning of Eowyn and Faramir's love story, and then finishes with the culmination of the love story between Aragorn and Arwen. When Eowyn and Faramir are introduced, it is because she has requested to see him so she can ask if she can leave the House of Healing.
‘What do you wish?’ he said again. ‘If it lies in my power, I will
do it.’
‘I would have you
command this Warden, and bid him let me go,’
she said; but though her words were still
proud, her heart faltered,
and for the first time she doubted herself. She guessed that
this tall
man, both stern and gentle, might think her merely wayward, like a child that
has not the firmness of mind to go on with a dull task to
the end.
‘I myself am in the Warden’s keeping,’ answered Faramir. ‘Nor
have I yet taken up my authority
in the City. But had I done so, I
should still listen to his counsel, and should
not cross his will in
matters of his craft, unless in some great need.’
Ethics is doing the harder thing - and there's little in this world I find harder than being bored. I do not have the firmness of mind to go on with a dull task. I often interleave at least two tasks at once, so when one becomes dull I can switch. At work a lot of my tasks are administrative, like data entry. It gets dull. So I'll do tasks two at once - making the weekly schedule and writing daily progress notes - and switch back and forth as necessary to keep my attention sharp (or, if you like, undulled).
Another way to keep your attention sharp is to interrupt the dullness. My practice of turning away from dullness is close to that, but many inject excitement into dull activities. But most of what is dull is inherently so. If you change that you change what you are doing. As the above references, protest movements which allow demonstrations that are exciting and eye-catching will be less effective. Specific goals, closed-door meetings, and difficult compromises are less interesting and require a firmness of mind. A belief you will get where you want to go, that whatever you're getting now is a good step, and an expectation people at least some people will be unhappy with you, but you're acting for the cause, not for approval.
Every march I've attended has a moment when things start to drag - you can only chant so much before it gets repetetive. It is these moments when things break down - as if the point of the protest is to engage those protesting, and not agitate those in power.
As with my work - I'm doing the task to get the data in. There's not a good way to 'spice it up' without degrading the quality. Microsoft Excel doesn't appreciate flair.
Another way to combat dullness is by becoming very interested in the activity. We can't always control what interests us, but we all know there's some topic we can excitedly talk about in great detail even as the life drain's from our audience's eyes. The difference between something being fascinating or complicated is your level of interest. If something is dull, you're probably not interested in it.
Eowyn does not lack firmness of mind entirely. She becomes bored of healing because she doesn't want the healing. But she's shown firmness recently: She rode in secret from Rohan to Gondor - keeping Merry hidden, too! Hiding can be exciting when you're being hunted, but nobody even thinks she's there. She doesn't even tell Merry, who'd have no reason to tell anyone!
Eowyn wants to ride out and fight - and die! She has a deathwish - which is necessarily unethical: Dying is easy! She could use this time to develop some other skill, or speak to others in the House, or even just rest. She has no interest in living a life - this is why she finds healing dull. It's pushing her backward from her goal. She wants to fight, she wants glory - and specifically a glorious death.
But ultimately learning to embrace boredom - a hard thing indeed! - can make for a very ethical life. Boredom implies you'd like to do something else. You probably can; We always have lots of choices in life. But just because you can do something doesn't mean you'd do it well, or that it's the right (or even a useful) choice. If you're injured you go to the hospital and listen to the doctors and nurses. If you're on a plane you let the pilot fly it. If you're hungry at a restaurant you don't barge into the kitchen.
It is now Monday evening and I absolutely must finish this post. This is an unfinished thought, and I may return and amend it. But I think becoming tolerant of boredom is important to living an ethical life. Not because boredom isn't annoying, but because disrupting our boredom is not the highest good. It may be the best thing for us to sit by and let others take action - or react to what we are doing. We don't need to be in charge all the time, or pound people over the head with a message. Let them sleep on it. When we act, we necessarily are using our power. Power is a dangerous tool. But "...we cannot eliminate power. The best we can do is create a balance of it..." Sometimes that means empowering others, sometimes that means disempowering ourselves - or at least not using all that we have. Sometimes the harder thing is boring. That does not excuse us from doing it.
This had been a patreon-supported project, but that proved too annoying to maintain. If you would like to financially support this project, drop $1.11 (or any amount, I suppose) into my Venmo!
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