The Art of Persuasion

This week is another double portion, and so we read two chapters instead of one.  This week we read "The Uruk-Hai" and "Treebeard".  The titles offer a good contrast of content.  The Uruk-hai are a new form of orc created by Saruman, while Treebeard is an ent, a race that is new to us but among the oldest on Middle Earth.  It is a recurring theme in our text that new is bad and old is good.  Accordingly, the uruk-hai are evil and the ents are good.  

In our first chapter we rendezvous with Merry and Pippin as they are carried off toward Isengard.  Our text has backed up a few days in time.  We hear the orcs worry about the horsemen who are chasing them, and gaining on them (They evidently do not notice the three hunters also in pursuit).  They flee for what seems to be a whole 24 hours, finally resting out of necessity.

While they are resting, conflict boils over among the orcs and Merry and Pippin seize the opportunity to escape.  By the time the Rohirrim have destroyed the orcs, Merry and Pippin have escaped into nearby Fangorn Forest.

The second chapter follows Merry and Pippin through Fanghorn, a forest like the Old Forest, if maybe a little less oppressive.  They eventually meet Treebeard, an ent, who - after hearing their news that Gandalf has fallen and that Saruman and Sauron are working together - calls a meeting of his kind: an entmoot.  At the end of this meeting, Treebeard announces the ents have decided to attack Isengard to punish Saruman.

Let's go back to the first chapter.  As the conflict between the orcs is escalating, Pippin finds himself face to face with an orc who keeps pawing at him.  We are let into Pippin's thoughts:

'Grishnákh knows about the Ring!  He's looking for it...

he probably wants it for himself.'  Cold fear was in

Pippin's heart, yet at the same time he was wondering

what use he could made of Grishnákh's desire."

Pippin convinces Grishnákh to take he and Merry away from the other orcs, so that he can take the Ring without anyone else noticing.  Then Pippin says it is hidden away and that he himself will give it to him, if only he'd cut the ropes tying his hands.  Grishnákh does this and then, fortunately, the Rohirrim arrive and he gets runs him down.  Merry and Pippin, now untied and unguarded, are able to escape.

When trying to convince someone to do something, we often mistake the ends and the means.  We want to hang out with them, we assume we must make them want them to hang out with us.  We want our family to use their screens less when we're together, then we must convince them what we know is true: screens are bad.  But this is not an effective way to convince someone - it assumes they think like us.  The trouble is other people think differently than we do.  In order to change their minds we must change our own thinking, first.

We say we live in a post-fact world, but I think we regularly overestimate the power of facts in convincing someone.  The primary way to convince someone is not to throw facts at them.  They likely have their own facts - or their own "facts".  Further, they likely are a part of a community that cherishes those talking points, false or not.  If I were suddenly convinced of a flat earth, the relationship I have with my friends and community would change dramatically.  I'd either need to find new ones or hide a piece of myself from them.

A better way to convince someone is to find what they value and connect it to your talking points - not to use talking points to try to alter their values.  An excellent example is abortion.

(There are of course many more nuances to the abortion debate.  For simplicity's sake I am only discussing voluntary abortions during a pregnancy that does not endanger the life of the mother)

For those who are pro-life, those who are pro-choice seem to disregard inconvenient lives.  They see the fetus as a life, and since all lives are equal, how can someone justify prioritizing the woman's want over the fetuses existence?  You had sex, there's a consequence.  Being able to ignore unpleasant consequences can cause one to be morally reckless.  Abortion is a symptom of a selfish society.  And since pro-lifers view abortion as murder, it is the quintessential symptom of a selfish society.

Those who are pro-choice think those who are pro-life are trying to keep women controlled, and that they think a women's reproductive capacities should be her primary potential.  It's about individual autonomy - which a fetus lacks.  Pro-choicers see women who choose to have abortions as women making a personal decision about their own body and their own life.  An autonomous person should not be forced to give up their autonomy for the sake of something non-autonomous.  We finally have the technology to help women decide when to have children.  Forcing women to bear children they don't want when we can prevent it seems socially backwards.

Debates between these two sides is rarely productive.  One side shouts about the value of the life of the fetus, and the other about the value of the autonomy of the woman.  There is little overlap.  It becomes an argument of which value to prioritize.

For the record, I am pro-choice.  So how would I apply this to trying to convince a pro-lifer?  They value life, so I'd begin there, applying that value to the woman.  What would be a better life, that the woman be forced to give birth when she doesn't want to, costing her time and money she won't get back, or letting that woman build a strong personal foundation, giving her a full life, and then letting her choose when/if to bring a child into the world - a child she will be ready and excited for, rather than one she may resent for derailing her life's plan.

This argument may remain unconvincing, but it at least tackles the issue they are talking about.  They want the child to live, so talk about the life of the mother.  Life is more about being alive, it is about being happy and fulfilled.  They want the child to live, so talk about the life of children born into families prepared and ready versus the life of unwanted children.  At least this makes the conversation potentially productive.

Similarly, Pippin is able to use Grishnákh's values for his own gain.  Grishnákh is greedy and is worried the other orcs won't share the credit of delivering the hobbits to Saruman.  Pippin promises him a way to profit immediately, and through this ruse is able to escape.  While we can say Pippin was lucky the Rohirrim came when they did, I think it's better to say Pippin put himself in a better position than he had been before.  It's possible, had the riders attacked a little bit later, that Grishnákh would have realized Pippin was lying and killed him out of frustration.  But if he had stayed in the orc camp he certainly would have been killed, luck or no.  We know that Éomer said they strove to leave none alive.  Sometimes progress is putting yourself in merely a better position than before.

People's values are notoriously difficult to change - and for good reason.  Is it really a 'value' if you can easily be talked out of it?  If you want to convince someone then you should learn their values and find a way to connect your talking points to those values.  Persuasion is not an act of brute force, but rather a guided tour.  Instead of Tetris, where you throw down as many blocks as you can, it's Jenga, where you need to analyze the situation to determine the best block to use.  And, like Jenga, when done correctly, discussions build everyone up.

The analogy works again in another way.  Did you check out that Jenga game up above?  It's awful.  Jenga is not a game to be played online - it should be played in person.  Similarly, while sometimes we can engage in meaningful conversations online, persuading someone else is easier in person.  You can see facial expressions, tone of voice, etc.  All of these are important ways to see if you're getting to someone, which will help you know which arguments to follow and which to abandon.

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