This week, our text takes us from Minas Tirith back to Isengard, where the rest of the fractured Fellowship is. This chapter is called "The Passing of the Grey Company." In it, Theoden readies his forces to return to Edoras, the capital of Rohan, where he has ordered that those lords loyal to him send their troops, "and there, I think," Aragorn tells his companions, "he will hear tidings of war, and the Riders of Rohan will go down to Minas Tirith. But for myself, and any that will go with me..." "I for one!" Cried Legolas. "And Gimli with him!" said the dwarf.
Merry asks that he not be left behind, but says he feels "like baggage," and isn't sure how he can help. Aragorn advises him to stay close to Theoden, "Your road lies with him." For the time being though, the four of them will ride together with Theoden's men. The text gives us this line.
"Soon all were ready to depart... with Gimli behind Legolas, and Merry in front of Aragorn."
What is the meaning of this set-up? Why not Legolas in front of Gimli, and Merry in front of Aragorn? Or Gimli behind Legolas, and Aragorn behind Merry? What distinction is being made?
We've already discussed Gimli and Legolas' unlikely friendship. They are equals among each other - Gimli reminds us later in the chapter that he and Legolas had a competition to see who could kill the most orcs at Helm's Deep (Gimli won). For Legolas to let Gimli ride behind him is to invite him to join him. Gimli does not ask to be brought on the horse in this way - he is too proud. But Legolas offers it, saying they can speak to each other as they ride, and Gimli does not refuse. Gimli will follow Legolas, if Legolas will lead him.
Compare this with Merry's position. He is placed in front of Aragorn. There has been no discussion of this, as with Gimli and Legolas. It largely mirrors Gandalf taking Pippin. Pippin often slept during Gandalf's ride to Minas Tirith. He is very much "like baggage."
Later, the Riders are joined by the eponymous "Grey Company." They are Dunedain, like Aragorn, and come bearing news, gifts, and allegiance. They spend much of the ride riding next to him and speaking with him. There is no mention whatsoever of Merry, neither by the characters nor the Creative Wizard. Merry is baggage. Merry will go where Aragorn takes him.
While we can agree Merry is perhaps not getting the respect he deserves, we might understand Aragorn's point of view. Aragorn is riding towards his destiny, to a great war, and to claim the throne. These things are largely beyond the comprehension of Merry. There's little reason for him to try, and little need for Aragorn to explain.
Gimli and Legolas are close friends. They are equals. They have endured experiences together (And Aragorn with them - which accounts for Gimli and Legolas' eagerness to join him before he even explains his course). Aragorn and Merry, largely, have not. Even during the events of the first book, Merry's point of view is of one swept along, while Aragorn is the great driver. After that, they've been largely separated.
Gimli and Legolas are the kinds of friends that we want to have in our lives. They view each other as equals, worthy of each other's time, a pleasure to have along. Aragorn does not see Merry in this way. Merry is an errand and a duty. That isn't meant to insult, but it certainly is not praise.
We've already discussed this, to a point. Sometimes you can be friends with those around you, but sometimes you're cogs in their machine. Objectively, neither is better than the other; they both have their uses. Sometimes we form deep bonds, sometimes our bonds are only task-deep.
When I graduated college, I found myself scrolling my Facebook friends and doing my first "purge." Were those I were purging less friends than those who survived? Not necessarily. But our friendship was dependent on our proximity. It did not go deeper than that. Still, that doesn't mean our friendship had been fake.
Last year, I was fortunate to have two excellent mentors at my job. I had a duty to them, they had a duty to me. We became close, but that was because we worked together all the time. It was difficult to know what would happen the following year, when they would no longer be my mentors.
This year, having graduated that program, I am now their colleague. One of them I have remained close to, and perhaps gotten even closer with. The other, not so much. We have drifted apart.
Is that bad? I'm not so sure. I don't think it is good, either - but I'm not sure that's the point. There are times when relationships end - friendly, professional, and romantic. The problems arise when the people involved disagree that it is ending. But sometimes, though you had many good times together, it is best to recognize that those times will not be repeated. Of course, in some cases, "work friends" can endure long beyond the task. But we also are familiar with the experience of someone trying to remain close to us when the reason we were so close has passed. It's awkward.
There are many times when we need our friends. Friends - true friends - are necessary to endure much in life. But occasionally we have work friends, who are good companions in a task, but it doesn't extend much beyond that. And that's fine. Just make sure that those who are with you in this regard don't, like Merry, feel like baggage. Everyone deserves to feel important.
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