Insupportable mountains

Apologies for the late post.  I am at a summer camp.  I will probably be less punctual with posts than I have been until August.  But hopefully never again this late.

This week, we do something a little unconventional with our text.  We are reading two chapters, but they are not sequential.  We are skipping a chapter.  Why?

The first chapter is “The Muster of the Rohirrim.”  This chapter follows Theoden as he returns to Edoras to gather his troops.  The second chapter is “The Ride of the Rohirrim,” which is a pretty short chapter.  It tells of how the Rohirrim sneak around the siege of Gondor.  So far so sequential.  So what happens in the middle?

The middle chapter follows Pippin and Gandalf as the forces of Mordor begin the siege on Gondor.  It ends on a very somber note, and it very much seems like all is lost.  It is called, unsurprisingly, "The Siege of Gondor."

Changing the order means, rather than wondering if the Rohirrim will come, the question becomes:  What will happen when they do.  The chapter is not as hopeless as it once was.  But again, why the change?

Put simply, this kind of analysis doesn't lend itself well to suspense.  We know who is going to win, we know when tragedies and when triumphs will happen.  We know who lives and who dies.   If this story is analyzed for years upon years, the suspense is lost.  At no point in the reading of Exodus is there a question of if the Hebrews will be set freed.  Same with the story of Jesus.  While learning about their struggles yields many good answers, it does little to feign ignorance of the result.  Therefore, rather than read the "The Siege of Gondor" full of anxiety, we should read it knowing the Rohirrim are coming, which will color our analysis.  But that is next week.

This week, Merry again feels like baggage.  He despairs at his feeling of uselessness, and is overwhelmed.  The text says, "He loved mountains, or he had loved the thought of them marching on the edge of stories brought from far away; but now he was borne down by the insupportable weight of Middle Earth."

There are many things that are "better in theory than in practice."  Either the idea is better, or the idea is easier, or the idea is more enjoyable.  It is great to have a good idea, but sometimes a pain to have to implement it.  We've all had experiences like this.

I cannot find a source for this quote (I thought it was Truman Capote, but the internet will not confirm), but I will share it nonetheless.  "More tears are cried over dreams fulfilled than dreams unfulfilled."  The reason for this is an unfulfilled dream remains always 'in the ether.'  There's nothing real to judge it on.  It always goes as perfectly as you can imagine.

A dream, to be fulfilled, takes work and effort, and while we know this, sometimes the intensity of what that means can be unexpected.  And then what if, after all that work, the dream ends up not living up to your expectations.  Being a lawyer was more paperwork than justice, being a teacher was more standards than inspiration, being a singer/songwriter was more wrestling with labels than art.  Now you've put in all this time, gotten what you wanted, only to find you don't really want it.  Now what?  At least with an unfulfilled dream, you will (hopefully) figure out it isn't working and be able to move on.  But if you've pursued a career only to find it not what you wanted, that's the recipe for a midlife crisis!  There are more tears cried by those who are successful, only to find their life still lacking, than those who fail to succeed.  (Obviously there's a lot of privilege in that statement.  There's a difference between not being able to complete med school, but eventually moving on and finding success elsewhere, and not ever being able to make ends meet on minimum wage, and therefore not ever being able to succeed in something as basic as "stability.")

That's what Merry is feeling.  He's spent so long wanting to be out in the world, away from the Shire - but now that he's there, it's overwhelming.  He can't deal with it.  The reality of his dream is an "insupportable weight."

Howard Stern said, in starting a new project, there's nothing more exciting than the announcement.  Announcing a new project comes with lots of fanfare and celebration.  But then you have to...... do it.  And that's hard work.

It is easy to dream.  It is very easy to have an idea, and to fall in love with it.  It is harder to fulfill it.  It is harder to put in the hours, day after day and month after month, especially when results aren't obvious, or if there are setbacks.  It is harder to love them when they are becoming hard.  But the worst thing that can happen is when the results are not what we planned for; When the fruits of our labors are rotten.  This is what Merry is running into.

We will see what happens as Merry endures.  A rider named Dernhelm picks him up and offers to carry him with the troops to Minas Tirith.  While he is still baggage, at least he is moving somewhere.  Merry will soon have a chance to confront "the mountains" that intimidate him, and he will overcome them.

Perhaps, then, that is our comfort.  "Insupportable weight" is a passive term - an insupportable weight is also probably preventing you from moving, either forward or back.  Times get tough.  We can't always make the changes we want.  I am not saying you need to suffer, or that suffering makes you stronger, but sometimes there is no good action, so don't waste your energy struggling.  In those cases, when the mountains become overwhelming and insupportable weights, sometimes we need to endure, and be on the look out for opportunities for action.