"No, they never end," said Frodo, "But the people in them come, and go when their part's ended."
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I have goals in my life. I've got to-do lists and habits I want to develop (or get rid of). I have people I am close with, and people I stay away from. There are conflicts and moments of victory (or defeat). My life is a story - my story. It began when I was born and will end when I die. That will be that. "The ups and downs of Alex Maslow." Something like that. And so I go.
But the world will go on! I'm not the only person who exists, and far from the most important. But even the most important people die, and the world turns on. When Martin Luther King Jr, one of the most important individuals of the civil rights movement, died the struggle had to go on. As we repeat so often, he did not live to see the fulfillment of his dream. As important as we might be, the world is larger than ourselves. It will go on.
This week is another double portion, "Journey to the Crossroads" & "The Stairs of Cirith Ungol". Faramir releases Frodo and Sam and Gollum back into the wilderness, and their journey continues. They eventually reach Gollum guides them to a hidden stair carved into a cliff. At the top they see a tower, Cirith Ungol. Sam rebukes Gollum, because Gollum said his "other way" would be unwatched. Gollum tells him it is the least watched way into Mordor. The Hobbits sit down to rest after their climb. As they eat some of their supplies, Sam and Frodo have a strangely self-aware conversation. Not self-aware about themselves as characters, as we have seen they are indeed quite self-aware. Instead, they ponder that they might one day become characters in stories.
Their conversation is quite long, so I will only summarize. Sam remarks at their fate, and that if they had known the Quest would have been this unpleasant they might have passed it off. Frodo tells him folks in great tales never know how their story will end, and that, as a reader, you wouldn't want them to. Sam wonders what kind of story they're in, and how it will end. He says:
"I used to think that they were things the wonderful folk
of the stories went out and looked for, because they wanted them,
because they were exciting and life was a bit dull...
but that's not the way of it with the tales that really mattered. Folk seem to have been
just landed in them... Why, even Gollum might be good in a tale,
better than he is to have by you, anyway."
It's a unique moment of self-awareness because, of course, Sam and Frodo are in a story, and in a very well known one. Up to now, Sam has been focused on protecting his life and Frodo's. The Ring is a Quest. That's all. Once it's destroyed, they can return to their old lives in the Shire. Even Frodo, grim and determined though he is, is self-centered. It is his task, and people are depending on him, and he must get it done. But that's a very narrow view. He isn't destroying the Ring so he can be rid of it. He's destroying the Ring so the whole world is rid of it. If he dies in the trying, but it still gets done, he would not be seen as a failure. Indeed, he has already contributed greatly to the effort!
The quote at the top comes a little later, when Sam realizes the Phial of Galadriel must be connected with the Silmarils, which are ancient artifacts. "Don't the great tales never end?". Frodo responds: "No, they never end. But the people in them come, and go when their part's ended."
Working with children, it is very easy for me to see in my everyday life how the world is bigger than my own story, and that to some I am a big part and to others I am a passing face. My story is very important to me. But not really anyone else. Similarly, their stories are of varying interest to me. I know some of my co-workers have families of their own. I know some of them go out in the evenings and hang out with their friends. I know it, but I don't really care. As long as it isn't illegal or self-destructive, it doesn't affect me. The only thing about my coworkers that matters to me, above all else, is how good they are at their jobs. And similarly, that's all that should matter to them about me.
Conversely, as for my friends, I just want them to be happy. I don't really care what it is they do with their time, so long as it makes them happy (and preferably isn't illegal or self-destructive). We make allowances for our friends we wouldn't make for co-workers, because the goal is happiness, not productivity.
However, as important as it is to ensure people are happy (happy people are also more productive), happiness is far more fleeting than productivity. Here's a question I just realized I've never asked: Was Martin Luther King Jr happy? What about Ghandi? Or Eleanor Roosevelt? Or Winston Churchill? I've never asked it because, well, it's not really relevant to their legacy. I suppose I hope they were happy, but it doesn't really matter. Is Barack Obama happy as president? I really don't care - I'd much rather he be productive as president. But I also don't want him to be miserable.
It's a lot to balance. We want to be happy, but will anyone remember us if we are only happy? We want to be productive, but not if it drives us to misery. But our happiness affects a very small circle of people - our productivity can affect so much more. Even if we seem like a very small part of things, add it all up and the human race becomes a great tapestry.
So, do the great tales never end? No! Humanity was here before we arrived, and it will end after we go. And on the one hand we deserve joy and happiness and fulfillment, and on the other we owe those who came before us (who have provided so much) that we continue to produce and provide for those who come after us.
So what's the takeaway? I think it is to keep these two sayings in your head. "The world has been created, and you may enjoy its bounty," & "The world is not yet finished, and your work is required." I don't know which reminder you need right now, and it is likely, in a few weeks, you'll need the other reminder. I can't give your life balance, but I can give you the tools to help you find it.
It is fitting that this post comes out on Mother's Day. There isn't much that (usually and hopefully) fits the ticket of being both a source of great stress and a source of great joy than motherhood. Something where the contribution to the human race is so obvious (another member!). Every great person has a mother we can also thank - not just for making a baby, but for raising and caring for and loving it (of course, this is ideally - there are those without, and there are those who did great things in spite of that lacking).
Happy Mother's Day, everyone. To the mothers of the world, thank you for all your hard work and care - the world owes you a great debt.
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